What have you learned in this course; in our classes, during an assignment, from a peer, in a conversation in / outside class?

I’ve learned that being Latina means to be proud of our heritage, because we come from such a beautiful culture, with delicious foods, ancient/forgotten languages, and a never-ending family lineage. I’m thankful to be Dominican and Mexican because of how different each culture is and I am able to be apart of both. Being born in the US I was able to interact with other Latinas but we’re looked down upon as only criminals or nuisances and are lied to about what happened to our ancestors. Being Latin American, you have to educate yourself to have an understanding of where we originated and how/why we ended up being colonized.

La Guera, Cherrie Moraga

I can relate to La Guera when she mentions not fully trusting her male friend because “You’re not a woman. Be a woman for a day. Imagine being a woman.” I grew up with both my parents but everything changed during middle school when I found out my dad was cheating on my mother and blamed her for it. I was scared of my dad because of how irrational and abusive he had been, and it scarred me. I’m not afraid of men, I have male friends and I’m not consciously thinking they’re going to do anything bad to me but I noticed that I’m not as comfortable around them as I am with my female friends. I have no idea how to communicate with males on my own as opposed to with a mutual friend. And when the author mentions how we oppress ourselves and having to overcome it, I realized I haven’t overcome my own oppression that I unconsciously made. It is difficult to overcome especially when I don’t really know how to but I know after reading La Guera that I want to.

(P.S. I couldn’t create an audio recording none of my devices audio are working, I apologize)

Kimberle Spotify Playlist

Quote #1 “The santoku had left her right hand, embedding its blade
upright on the knuckles of her left…’I hurt,’ she said, ‘I really hurt.’ Her skin was a bluish red as she threw herself on my lap and bawled.”(Kimberle, 19)

Quote #2” ‘Kimberle, don’t you ever think about what we’re doing—about us?’ ‘Us? There is no us.’ “(Kimberle, 25)

1.)1-800-273-8255 – Logic, Alessia Cara, Khalid “I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die today”

This song is about trying to overcome suicidal thoughts and one way to help can be dialing the suicidal hotline, to voluntarily look for help to get better. Kimberle knows she is suicidal and gives the narrator the task of preventing her from committing suicide. The narrator isn’t incredibly close to Kimberle but she knows her enough to care about her mental state and puts in the effort to be with Kimberle as much as she can to help after seeing and attempt in front of her as read in the first quote, she becomes Kimberle’s anchor.

2.) Little Do You know – Alex & Sierra “Underneath it all I’m held captive by the hole inside
I’ve been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind”

These lyrics from this song goes with what the narrator’s conflicting and increasing emotions that happens after Kimberle started to live with her. The narrator starts to form a connection with Kimberle that she didn’t expect to occur. She started to fall for Kimberle little by little, and when her physical relationship with her and other women start neither discuss nor puts a label as to what kind of relationship they have. The narrator is confused about her sexuality after having a threesome with Kimberle and her one-night stands, since she’s never shown interest in the opposite sex and her newfound feelings for Kimberle so she ignores it and continues to go along with what they had. The narrator doesn’t act on her emotions in fear of losing her friendship with Kimberle until towards the end of the story in the second quote.

3.) Girls/Girls/Boys – Panic! At The Disco “And never did I think that I
Would be caught in the way you got me
But girls love girls and boys
And love is not a choice”

This song is about people not being able to control their emotions when it comes to love or attraction to others regardless of sexual orientation which fits with what the narrator experiences with Kimberle. The narrator never really expected to become attracted to Kimberle as she has never explored nor entertained the idea of being with women and assumed she was straight. But she enjoyed or didn’t dislike participating in an unexpected threesome between Kimberle and the Cuban woman she brought home. When Kimberle brought the pregnant women, the narrator wasn’t willing to participate and Kimberle’s suggestion of experimenting with a man didn’t interest her either as she would rather discuss their relationship to see where they stand. The narrator isn’t mortified by her growing affections for her same-sex friend, she is rather accepting about the fact that she finds Kimberle attractive and wants to become more but it rejected when she asks in the second quote.

4.) Let You Down – NF “Yeah, I guess I’m a disappointment
Doing everything I can
I don’t wanna make you disappointed
It’s annoying”

In the first quote Kimberle is rushed to the hospital by the author after she intentionally cuts herself with a kitchen knife, these lyrics goes with this quote because it shows how disappointed Kimberle is at herself for being suicidal. It’s hurting her inside and she doesn’t know how to overcome her dark thoughts that take over and causes her to harm herself. It’s more disappointing as she has to rely on the narrator to be her anchor and stop her from going too far and taking her life.

Pandora’s Box by Arturo Arias

Men can’t understand what women go through because they aren’t women and don’t experience the same unwanted attention that women go through or men don’t make an effort to understand women. So when Juan was turned into a woman was excited about the possibilities of what he could do as a woman that he didn’t expect the downsides of being a woman. Such as being harassed or ogled at by men wherever he went. This newspaper article relates to Pandora’s Box because of how common it is for women to be harassed on the street from a young age. As the female Juanita, Juan will continue to be harassed on the street by older men regardless of what she wears, and it happens to every woman which make them feel unsafe out in the street or restricts the hours women can be out alone as it becomes unsafer for them to be out in the night without company.

Photography

Both photos are similar because it shows the different struggles of people. In Dulce’s photo of The Real Story of Superheroes, she has everyday workers dressed in different superhero costumes while they continue to work their regular jobs. She emphasizes how these normal and common workers should be considered Superheroes as these people keep help, everyone, even when they aren’t paid much. The photo of a construction worker who helps build buildings that would give people homes to live in or areas to work/teach should be appreciated and admired more. The photo by Graciela Iturbide of Frida’s Bathroom that mimics what Frida Khalo painted when she was in the bathroom gives an insight as to what Khalo had to deal with while at home after her accident. She painted parts of her daily life that most would find disturbing and embarrassing to show to the public but she did anyway. Both photos taken can be admired by people who see them because they show what people experience and don’t think about when seeing a building or what was Frida’s suffering at home.

Movie Clip

all the Mexican women refuse to cook or clean or raise the kids or pay bills or make the bed or drive your bum ass to work or do anything except watch their novelas, so heaven is gross. the rats are fat as roosters & the men die of starvation. -Jose Olivarez

I included this poem Mexican Heaven by José Olivarez with this movie clip from Little Women because it relates to how women always seem to be expected to provide more for the comfort of men in the relationship. In José Olivarez’s poem “Mexican Heaven” the women in heaven abandoned their responsibilities to enjoy their novels which caused heaven to be gross since men don’t know how to take over what the women do daily. It relates to the movie quote from Little Women “Women have minds and souls as well as just hearts, and they’ve got ambition and talent as well as just beauty. And I’m sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for.” because of how much women are taken for granted simply because they are female and the expectations for women to succeed in things other than the household are low. Yet it all women were to simply abandon their responsibilities, men would be at a loss because of how much they rely on women unconsciously.

Alternate Ending

I left Don Juan with a new agenda. Fuck my boss, fuck my job, fuck my Porcupine Love. There will be other jobs I can work but there will only be one Antenna in my life and she’s waiting for me 2 continents, 3 oceans, 8,643 miles, and 31 airplane hours away in New Zealand. I want to fuck her, taste her, and be with her, Antenna is my only regret and I’ll be damned if I let the chance to be with her again slip by.

I go home and pack my stuff, while buying the first ticket I see going to New Zealand, I email Antenna that I’ll be at the airport in four hours and in 31 airplane hours into her arms.

I’m here waiting in line to board the plane, excited to see her again, touch her again, hear her voice, be with her, to be with someone who gives a damn about me. I sit down with an annoying kid seated behind me screaming but all I can think about is Antenna, my excitement turns into anxiety. What if I fuck it up again, what if she gets annoyed with my love, will I be able to tell her that I love her but my love will hurt her, that I’m scared. The door to the plane closes, a safety video plays on the screen, the plane starts moving, it takes off and I look out the window to see the city where I leave my life behind to start a new one with Antenna and feel no regrets.

I’m in New Zealand, exiting the security checkpoint and into the area where people are going into taxis or reuniting with families. I look for the woman I let getaway, I don’t see her, where is she? I feel someone come up from behind and hug me, I turn and see Antenna, she’s so much more beautiful than the last time I saw her. She’s smiling and I can’t help but smile and kiss her too. Maybe this time will be better, I need to tell her about my spikes, I can’t let her get hurt again, I won’t let myself do it. She deserves better so I’ll give her better, I’ll show her how much she means to me, even if I’m scared shitless.