What have we learned in this class?

La Guera, Cherrie Moraga

Voice Recording:

Pandora’s Box, Arturo Arias

I chose this article because it reminded me a lot of and I was able to compare it a lot to Arias’ article with Juan. In Pandora’s Box it speaks of new beginnings, and in The Heartache of an Immigrant Family, it shows the rough parts of coming to a new country or moving to a new place. It also draws light into the idea that moving into places isn’t always fun for everyone, which ties into it with Juan as Pandora’s box describes the hardships of his new life.

Kimberle’s Playlist

Both Alewife and 1-800-273-8255 remind me of the beginning of the story with the narrator running to go get Kimberle from a bar and when she told her that she was suicidal. “I was, I really was. She was asking me to keep her from killing herself”

“But you saved me from doin’

Somethin’ to myself that night” -Alewife

“But I don’t wanna cry, I don’t wanna cry anymore,

I wanna feel alive, I don’t even wanna die anymore”-1-800-273-8255

With the song Do I Wanna Know, it ties in to the theme of the complicated relationship that they both have and there are some unresolved feelings between them. This song is about a paranoid lover who’s worried about their relationship.

“(Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made

For sayin’ things that you can’t say tomorrow day”- Do I Wanna Know?

Dulce Pinzon and Graciela Iturbide

I chose these two photos as they both demonstrate the importance that we as a community pose to this society. In Dulce’s photos she demonstrates people, especially those who are of Latino Descent as heroes even though their jobs seem less than glamourous. She is able to demonstrate the idea that they are important and that without them our society couldn’t really run.

Mexican Heaven

This poem spoke to me a lot as it seems that our community is constantly put down, and we aren’t seen as people who are worthy or “good enough” to get into a place like heaven, but in this poem it speaks of the power that we hold and that we are good enough.

What I learned for this semster

Reaction audio of the La guera 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/19cpacidzXJgUoh_D1llkq8nD-D1Rw0jS/view?usp=sharing

Playlist for Kimberle”, by Achy Obejas.  

Alternate version of the Porcupine Love

I woke up scared and sweaty I must have had a wild dream last night. I dreamt all these weird things in my head. I wake up from bed trying to get my thoughts together. I fix my hair and make my way to the bathroom where I freshen myself up. As I am freshen up I smell the making of breakfast being made. I run along and see all of my lovers sitting down chatting it up. I look at all of them confused. I have sinking feeling in my stomach. I try to make contact with one of them but they don’t see to notice me nor see me . I look around and see to my right there is a small window and there me sleeping. Im in shock is this really real am I real? I see all my past lovers come crowding me. Im yelling screaming for myself to wake. All of them are getting closer and closer. I am begging myself to wake up. I am seeing myself still sleep peacefully. Im begging to wake myself up. I wake up sweaty hyper looked around and pinch myself to see if I was real if I was okay safe from danger. I felt safe and at home, I looked out the window and saw the sun beaming I said to myself “everything’s okay.” I got up and got dressed. I was fine “bad dream” I whispered to myself as I head out the door.

What have you learned in this course?

What I have learned is the configuration of Latinx identity is more broad and continually expansive than I could’ve realized. It is interesting studying a subject that for me, and I think for many of us is so deeply personal. For me it was a place to deeply examine things “I already knew”–or, more accurately, things I thought I knew. Some of these being: Poetry as an empowering tool of identity formation, in many instances, a way to reclaim the oppressor’s language. The fickle concept of “Latinidad”, the iconography of Selena, the fluidity of Spirituality, Religion, Language and Culture.

Porcupine Love, short story by Tatiana de la Tierra (Colombia): alternative ending.

How cruel of me would it be, to pull her back into my life and once again let go. It would be cruel, no? But I can’t help that its all I want to do, to fly across continents, and swim with her in Pacific waters, and feel her in my mouth, on my thumb, on every finger of mine, as they re-familiarize themselves with her cunt and her with mine. It may seem silly, to pull a once-failed-love all the way back to the arch of my cheek to full draw to where the trajectory of  life—my happiness, which maybe shouldn’t even be a goal—depends upon its successful flight.

Do you remember when we went to New York? I just found the bandana you bought me for the parade. It’s faded but you can still see where you wrote “Te quiero Antennita”. 

I remember New York,  when we were there for Pride a few months into dating. What I remember is we got separated during the parade and argued every night except for the last when we didn’t talk at all. We were in the bar of our hotel and I had been talking to this girl with curly hair and tattoos on every visible inch of her skin going up to her ears.  She was flirting with me—with both of us actually, and I whispered to Antenna that maybe we should let her come to bed with us. She looked at me really calmly and shook her head so imperceptibly I bent over to whisper it to her again. I thought she hadn’t heard. After I whispered it a second time, she gave me a strange look but didn’t say anything. I shrugged and turned back to talk to the girl. We talked for another few minutes—the two of us, Antenna just nodded along but didn’t say anything—then I felt her perpetually cold fingers tightly grab my wrist “cmon, you’re drunk, let’s go to bed” Antenna said as she nudged me off my stool. My chest went suddenly cold, but I jauntily played the part she’d cued me to play (“ugh, no fun!” I complained) and followed her into the elevator, wrist-first. 
“I’m not drunk” I said stupidly
“I know”
(The half-finished glass of wine I’d left on the bar was the only alcohol I’d had the whole trip, which she knew.)
“Why did you suggest we fuck that girl”? She asked me, her eyes pleading with mine to hold contact.
“I thought it’d be fun” I said stupidly, again. 
She looked suddenly heartbroken. She was wearing the bandana I’d gotten her, my gut churned, I felt bad. 

Antenna had told me of her playful threesomes, the successful orgy she’d had once when she went  back home to Portland, the not-so-successful one she’d tried to have in Miami. But my Antennita remembered my stories as I did hers, and she knew about Valeria, my first girlfriend with whom I’d had my only threesome—something I swore to never do again. Valeria had proposed it immediately after I walked into our apartment to see her kissing the only other out girl we knew at Universidad de los Andes, and before I could register my feelings of shock and betrayal and hurt, I said yes (or I didn’t say no) and so I had a threesome with my girlfriend and the woman she was cheating on me with. The trauma of it still stung me and Antenna knew that too.

I retracted my quills.

“I’m sorry, you’re right, I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s not about being right or wrong. I just— I just…” She trailed off. 
Then I struck suddenly back. 
“Aren’t I allowed to change my fucking mind? Carajo.”

She looked at me and nodded. I looked to the ground. I’m sure we said a few things here and there and I remember her asking me to wake her up in the morning, but when I think back on that night I see it like the tv with the sound off: I see us silently packing side by side, brushing our teeth without the rush of water from the sink or the bristle of toothbrushes against teeth, and fucking ourselves to sleep noiselessly. 

Did she know?
I had wanted to see if she really loved me. 

It was another of my traps. If she hadn’t confronted me in the elevator I would’ve taken it as affirmation that she didn’t love me, or only me. I would’ve assuaged the heartbreak of it by telling myself that I had saved myself a greater heartbreak down the road. But she did confront me. And I took it as cloying and needy and I was disgusted by her neediness and by myself for basically begging for it.

I looked outside, the day had gone. I had thought myself into a pitying stupor. I was sore for no good reason and dizzy too. I had forgotten to call in sick. In no time, I fell into sleep. 

The next morning, the sky had a grim pallor. I had gotten into the habit of checking the weather in Auckland each morning: sunny and beautiful, of course. The cold air assaulted my lungs. I hadn’t dressed warmly enough but I had promised myself to go outside. So here I was! I wanted to yell out. I thought about the ways the universe was calling out to me, in the melodic voice of Antenna’s amorous emails—it was offering me the possibility of love once again. Or I was a fool in an echo-chamber, hearing 14-year-old whispers and swallowing them whole.

I met a dog with your name today. She was beautiful. 

Her email made me smile. I thought of what breed of dog she might be. I wondered about the owners of the dog with my name, and the conversation they might’ve had with my Antenna. I spent my evening researching breeds as I ate dinner, trying to find a dog that reminded me of Antenna. But I didn’t respond. 

Are you coming? I can feel the warmth of your c u n t already. 

It was strangely warm the next couple days. I went in to work and complained about the phantom flu I’d just had. 

How many vacation days do you get? I was thinking we could go to Samoa—I’ve never been, it would be new for both of us. 

My phone pinged. Received 7 days ago. Reply? 

Photography: Dulce Pinzón and Graciela Iturbide

Dulce Pinzón “Girl in the woods”

Graciela Iturbide “Limpia de pollos”

I chose to look at these two photographs because on a very basic level, their subjects are similar: people and their interaction with animals. However this “interaction” I refer to is interpreted in very different ways. In “Girl in the woods” a young Latinx girl stands in the middle of the frame, her body angled away but her head is turned, looking directly into camera. She is in a set, surrounded fake woodland creatures, (likely) fake plants, and a painted background. The photograph “Limpia de pollos” depicts something entirely different. We see many women (in Juchitán, Mexico) cleaning chicken they are presumably going to prepare and eat. In “Limpia de pollos” the dead ‘pollos’ are the focus of the photograph. What I am drawn to in the comparison of these two photographs is the way people interact with animals in a natural way—in this instance, quite a brutal way (though the photograph is still beautiful) vs. the way people and animals are put together in a manufactured and romantic way. 

“Mexican Heaven” and “I, Tonya”

In this clip from I, Tonya, Tonya is a competitive skater and has just been given a poor score in a skating competition. In this clip we see her react hotly. Tonya believes her performance merits a much higher score, this one in particular is a breaking point; she has routinely gotten lower scores than what would be expected of a skating performance of her caliber. She goes right up to the judges who’ve just given her the score and asks point blank: “how do I get a fair shot here?/Does someone just want to tell me to my face ‘you’re never going to get the scores I deserve’?”

The line from the clip said by one of the judges, “maybe you’re just not as good as you think, maybe you should pick another sport” relates to the last line of Mexican Heaven “They dream of another heaven, one they might be allowed in if only they work hard enough”. “Hard work” in both of these contexts is purported to be the only thing standing in the way of the two elusive spaces of “heaven” in the poem, and esteem and respect in the world of competitive skating for Tonya in the movie. This of course is not true, there are many barriers that make these places more difficult to inhabit. 

Create a playlist on Spotify that matches the short story “Kimberle”, by Achy Obejas. 

Notes on some songs:

Ohio (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young) What if you knew her/ And found her dead on the ground?/ How can you run when you know?
“Ohio” came to my mind after reading the story. I read an interview with Achy Obejas where she said the following, “When I was in college in Bloomington, Ind., back in the 70’s, it wasn’t unusual for girls to disappear in the fall and be found in the spring, after the snow had melted. It colored every step on a dark night going home from work or the bars.” Similarly, Ohio (Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young) was written in 1970 and listening to it now brings an eerie nostalgia. It is arguably one of the most famous “protest songs”. Written in response to the killing of four students at Kent State, its fairly uptempo considering its subject matter and its direct and casual voice reminded me of “Because the girl was always white and pointedly ordinary, there would be a strange familiarity about her: everyone was sure they’d seen her waiting for the campus bus, or at the commons or the bookstore…”

Nameless, Faceless (Courtney Barnett) I wanna walk through the park in the dark/ Women are scared that men will kill them/ I hold my keys/ Between my fingers made me think of “…every year we waited for that disappearance—I’d grown up in town and it had been going on forever”,

Motion Sickness (Phoebe Bridgers) “I hate you for what you did/ And I miss you like a little kid” /“I have emotional motion sickness/ Somebody roll the windows down/ There are no words in the English language/ I could scream to drown you out” Upon seeing another of her books missing from the shelf again, “I felt like I’d been hit in the stomach”

Pasaporte Latino Americano (Celia Cruz) “Y llegué a esta tierra sola, donde soy extraña/ Tierra del hamburguer y del hot dog” “My life, such as it was—my widowed mother, my useless Cuban passport, the smoke in my lungs, the ache in my chest..”

Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd) I have become comfortably numb “At some point I noticed “American Dreams” was missing from the shelf but I no longer cared”

Already Naked (Blondie) “Rewind, already naked/Inside, blood on the pavement/Feels like we could be dancing” “The next morning there was an icestorm” “I wanna do a threesome with a guy” “Then we flipped twice”

Así Quiero Morir (Celia Cruz) “Ay, estréchame en tus brazos/escucha mi latir/estréchame bien fuerte/que quiero así morir“

Find a newspaper article online that relates to Pandora’s Box, by Arturo Arias. Explain the connection.

https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2020/2/12/21075683/trans-coming-out-cost-of-womanhood-pink-tax

What this article and “Pandora’s Box” have in common is an investigation and discussion of how we (as a community, but also as individuals) essentialize and uphold the gender binary even as we challenge it.

After reading La Guera, Cherrie Moraga, record your voice (just audio) speaking for 1 or 2 minutes about how this reading relates to you.

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PANDORAS BOX

In this article by Pink News, we see a man do the next closest thing to what Arturo Arias writes about in Pandoras Box. In the story, Juan is a man who falls in love with a beautiful woman and ends up somehow magically changing to a woman and having to deal with the difficulties of eing a woman and having to learn how to properly present himself as a woman. In the article I chose, a man did something similar where he dressed up in drag to try and experience the way women are treated like when they get catcalled and other forms of street harassment. These two are also similar in the way that the Man in each story end up with completely different outlooks and are shocked with how different life is as a woman.

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Photography and My interpretation

Mexico is known for being particularly Catholic, like many other Latin American countries. So the moment my eyes landed on the first picture by Dulce Pinzon, my little Mexican heart fluttered. As a child, I remember being dressed up every 12^th of December to go to church and honor La Virgen De Guadalupe. She’s our patron Saint. With the festivities we always held, it was always a given that we would hear the story about La Virgen and how she decided to make Mexico her home. The picture by Pinzon portrays a young indigenous man named Juan Diego who first saw La Virgen in the desert part of Mexico. This is where the second picture I chose from Graciela Iturbide’s page comes in. Her picture just seems to illustrate to me the area that the Virgen would’ve appeared for the first time. The two pictures go hand in hand to tell the Mexican story that I grew up listening to ever since I was a child.

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Porcupine Love

The weeks after I returned from Don Juan’s session, there was an eerie calm in my place. Where I would usually sit and contemplate with my hand in my pants and many anxieties plaguing my every thought and movement, I just sat and stared into space. The emptiness in my soul becoming more and more prominent as time passed. After what seemed like hours but in reality was only a few minutes, I walked over to my computer and opened my email. There she was.

Antenita.

Her name no longer felt like the temptation it once was, not after the freedom I felt during Don Juan’s session. My therapist rang my phone but I didn’t answer, knowing that overanalyzing my love life would only make me revert back to my old ways. I chose instead to let it go. Accept the insignificantness of my life and accept I didn’t need anyones love. While staring at Antenitas name on that screen, I felt nothing. I convinced myself I couldn’t feel anything. While I deleted my email account with the help of instructions I got online, I went numb. I stared at the confirmation screen for hours and then got up and went to sleep. I would only ever see her in my dreams now.

Just me and Antenita in my dreams.

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Mexican Heaven and I’m No Longer Here

There’s a certain pain that comes with being Mexican, at least thats what the poem tells us. I took Heaven to mean The US in the poem written by Jose Olivarez. He writes about it so tragically and the experiences in the poem seem like excerpts taken from life. In Mexico, many people call the US “El Norte” meaning The North, so the analogy of it actually being the US is really interesting. The movie “I’m No Longer Here” explores the struggles Mexicans who just come to this country can face and it seems to go oddly hand and hand with the poem to portray the Mexican existence in the United States as something negative and harmful to us. The Mexican experience is different for everyone here but these two pieces of work show us just one dark side of what its like here.

Link to Trailer: I’m No Longer Here

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La Guera

Audio Transcript: The story named “La Gurea starts with something a lot of first generation Chicanos can identify with which is being the first in your family to attend school all the way until college. I don’t think there was ever a time in my life where college wasn’t an option, it was always mandatory. I was just waiting to graduate so I could go off and finish my schooling in a college like I was told and it was fine, I never questioned it. Now here I am, In college, fulfilling the dream that was set for me for as long as I could remember, discussing things like government policies and trying my best to work through the immense pressure. Sometimes I wished it wasn’t like this. Sometimes I wished it was less Black and White. I wish the pressure wasn’t as bad as it is. But there’s nothing I could do about it. The internalized fear of being a disappointment runs deep in the minds of Latinx people like me, all we can do is just dream and try our best.

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Written By Cristal Ramales

Find a newspaper article online that relates to Pandora’s Box, by Arturo Arias. Explain the connection. 

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/10/transgender-stories-people-think-we-wake-up-and-decide-to-be-trans

Article “Transgender stories: ‘People think we wake up and decide to be trans,” from The Guardian tells the story of five people who share their experiences as a transgender. “Pandora’s Box” by Arturo Arias, is about the story of a man named Juan, who becomes a woman named Juanita. Under this new transformation, Juanita shares her internal and external experiences, and its effect on her social relationships. Similar to the story, the article sheds light on how these individuals didn’t become aware of their sexuality until they were older, and how some identify as non binary. Nikki Hayden explains in the article, “The thing about trans people is, we feel very normal. It’s the way we are,” and just like Juanita, she felt comfortable in her skin, owning her new body, and embracing this new journey ahead of her.

Create a playlist on Spotify that matches the short story “Kimberle”, by Achy Obejas. Explain the connection of the songs to parts of the reading and specific quotes.

(I only have Apple Music)

19.10 by Childish Gambino – “To be beautiful is to be hunted”

This lyric relates to the psychopath that kidnaps and murders college aged girls. Every year during the fall season, there would be a disappearance of a girl. “To be beautiful is to be hunted” exemplifies the way in which women are the target for violence, sexual assault, and kidnapping.

Outlandish by dvsn – “Couldn’t be a better worse time, ironic, waiting for the perfect timing, no such thing”

This lyric relates to the relationship between the narrator and Kimberle. The relationship between both characters is quite dysfunctional. It seems as though they don’t know how to express how they feel about one another. But their unconditional love for one another is what allows the bond to continue going. “Waiting for the perfect timing, no such thing” represents how perfect timing never worked for both characters, despite the amount of time they spent together.

Say Yes by Floetry – “Let me undress you, babe, open up your mind and just rest”

This lyric relates to the part of the story where Kimberle and the narrator kiss. As the narrator leaves the tub naked and wet, she feels Kimberle grip her by the ankle. As the narrator unravels Kimberle’s fingers, the two meet face to face and start kissing. The lyric depicts the sexual tension that both characters have for one another.

Thanks 4 Nothing by Mariah the Scientist – “Closer to my heart, and maybe you can feel my pain”

This lyric relates to the way in which Kimberle lied to the narrator. I think the narrator was in denial about Kimberle stealing her books, but since she genuinely loved her, she gave her the benefit of the doubt. When the narrator sees the books in Kimberle’s car following the accident, the narrator feels nothing but pain. 

Include the poem by José Olivarez: “Mexican Heaven” ; Poems. Why would you include this poem on your blog; in relation to what?. Post it next to a movie clip that relates to it. Quote pertinent verses.

A MEXICAN DREAMS OF HEAVEN BY JOSÉ OLIVAREZ

all of the Mexicans sneak into heaven. St. Peter has

their name on the list, but none of the Mexicans have

trusted a list since Ronald Reagan was President.

St. Peter is a Mexican named Pedro, but he’s not

a saint. Pedro waits at the gate with a shot of tequila

to welcome all the Mexicans to heaven, but he gets drunk

& forgets about the list. all the Mexicans walk

into heaven, even our no good cousins who only

go to church for baptisms & funerals.

it turns out God is one of those religious Mexicans

who doesn’t drink or smoke weed, so all the Mexicans

in heaven party in the basement while God reads

the bible & thumbs a rosary. God threatens to kick

all the Mexicans out of heaven if they don’t stop

con las pendejadas, so the Mexicans drink more

discreetly. they smoke outside where God won’t

smell the weed. God pretends the Mexicans are reformed.

hallelujah. this cycle repeats once a month. amen.

Jesus has a tattoo of La Virgen De Guadalupe

covering his back. turns out he’s your cousin

Jesus from the block. turns out he gets reincarnated

every day & no one on Earth cares all that much.

all the Mexican women refuse to cook or clean

or raise the kids or pay bills or make the bed or

drive your bum ass to work or do anything except

watch their novelas, so heaven is gross. the rats

are fat as roosters & the men die of starvation.

there are white people in heaven, too. they build

condos across the street & ask the Mexicans to

speak English. i’m just kidding. there are no

white people in heaven.

tamales. tacos. tostadas. tortas.

pozole. sopes. huaraches. menudo.

horchata. jamaica. limonada. agua.

St. Peter lets Mexicans into heaven

but only to work in the kitchens.

A Mexican dishwasher polishes the crystal,

smells the meals, & hears the music

through the swinging doors. they dream

of another heaven, one they might be allowed in

if only they work hard enough.

Mi Vida Loca is a film that conveys the lives of young Mexican-American girl gang members in Echo Park, Los Angeles. The struggles that these women face highlights their realities, where drugs, violence, and serving time is the way of life. Gang culture has grown significantly over the past century. Throughout the 1990s, Chicano gangs were profiled as dangerous and violent, often residing in the barrios of East Los Angeles. Narrated through the lens of a female perspective, Chicana gang members navigate poverty and early motherhood. For these women, being a part of a gang is more than what society frames it to be, it’s an operation that has developed into sisterhood. Grief, fear, and love are the motivating elements that show the way in which these women will do whatever it takes to survive. “Our homeboys take pride in telling the history of our barrio, because white people leave out a lot of stuff when they tell it,” in the opening scene of the film, it becomes clear that Mousie’s outlook of the world is also a representation of her status in society. The typical Latinx criminal narrative is deeply embedded in American culture that it has often become the actual reality for many.

After reading Porcupine Love, short story by Tatiana de la Tierra (Colombia), write an alternative ending for it. No less than two paragraphs.

When I get home I will pack my things and move to New Zealand. No regrets, no looking back, no fear, I’m just going to do it. I messed up with Antenna, but she’s been the missing link all along. She ignited a fire in me that I didn’t know existed. She made me feel complete.

True love, could I have found it? Will going to New Zealand give me this answer? I love her and I want to be with her. The woman of my dreams, my precious Antenita. I guess time will reveal all the answers I’m looking for. But my love for her has never been a question.

After reading La Guera, Cherrie Moraga, record your voice ( just audio)
speaking for 1 or 2 minutes about how this reading relates to you.

What have you learned in this course; in our classes, during an assignment,
from a peer, in a conversation in / outside class? The answer to this question can be the screenshot of a conversation, a voice recording of a reflection, a video speaking, a piece of art, or a diagram. Express your answer in the manner you want.

Choose an image from “selected photography of Dulce Pinzón (link)” and
another from “selected photography of Graciela Iturbide (Link)” and write a
paragraph or record voice/video analyzing a comparison.

Both of these images represent the indigenous lineage within Latin American culture. The lives of the indigenous population were affected by the conquest of Europeans. Their language, local units, and cultural heritage has been diminished. However, the history remains and forever will. These images are a representation of the indigenous that lives within each Latino. At the end of the day, we are one.

What have you learned in this course; in our classes, during an assignment, from a peer, in a conversation in / outside class?

I’ve learned that being Latina means to be proud of our heritage, because we come from such a beautiful culture, with delicious foods, ancient/forgotten languages, and a never-ending family lineage. I’m thankful to be Dominican and Mexican because of how different each culture is and I am able to be apart of both. Being born in the US I was able to interact with other Latinas but we’re looked down upon as only criminals or nuisances and are lied to about what happened to our ancestors. Being Latin American, you have to educate yourself to have an understanding of where we originated and how/why we ended up being colonized.

La Guera, Cherrie Moraga

I can relate to La Guera when she mentions not fully trusting her male friend because “You’re not a woman. Be a woman for a day. Imagine being a woman.” I grew up with both my parents but everything changed during middle school when I found out my dad was cheating on my mother and blamed her for it. I was scared of my dad because of how irrational and abusive he had been, and it scarred me. I’m not afraid of men, I have male friends and I’m not consciously thinking they’re going to do anything bad to me but I noticed that I’m not as comfortable around them as I am with my female friends. I have no idea how to communicate with males on my own as opposed to with a mutual friend. And when the author mentions how we oppress ourselves and having to overcome it, I realized I haven’t overcome my own oppression that I unconsciously made. It is difficult to overcome especially when I don’t really know how to but I know after reading La Guera that I want to.

(P.S. I couldn’t create an audio recording none of my devices audio are working, I apologize)

Kimberle Spotify Playlist

Quote #1 “The santoku had left her right hand, embedding its blade
upright on the knuckles of her left…’I hurt,’ she said, ‘I really hurt.’ Her skin was a bluish red as she threw herself on my lap and bawled.”(Kimberle, 19)

Quote #2” ‘Kimberle, don’t you ever think about what we’re doing—about us?’ ‘Us? There is no us.’ “(Kimberle, 25)

1.)1-800-273-8255 – Logic, Alessia Cara, Khalid “I want you to be alive
You don’t gotta die today”

This song is about trying to overcome suicidal thoughts and one way to help can be dialing the suicidal hotline, to voluntarily look for help to get better. Kimberle knows she is suicidal and gives the narrator the task of preventing her from committing suicide. The narrator isn’t incredibly close to Kimberle but she knows her enough to care about her mental state and puts in the effort to be with Kimberle as much as she can to help after seeing and attempt in front of her as read in the first quote, she becomes Kimberle’s anchor.

2.) Little Do You know – Alex & Sierra “Underneath it all I’m held captive by the hole inside
I’ve been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind”

These lyrics from this song goes with what the narrator’s conflicting and increasing emotions that happens after Kimberle started to live with her. The narrator starts to form a connection with Kimberle that she didn’t expect to occur. She started to fall for Kimberle little by little, and when her physical relationship with her and other women start neither discuss nor puts a label as to what kind of relationship they have. The narrator is confused about her sexuality after having a threesome with Kimberle and her one-night stands, since she’s never shown interest in the opposite sex and her newfound feelings for Kimberle so she ignores it and continues to go along with what they had. The narrator doesn’t act on her emotions in fear of losing her friendship with Kimberle until towards the end of the story in the second quote.

3.) Girls/Girls/Boys – Panic! At The Disco “And never did I think that I
Would be caught in the way you got me
But girls love girls and boys
And love is not a choice”

This song is about people not being able to control their emotions when it comes to love or attraction to others regardless of sexual orientation which fits with what the narrator experiences with Kimberle. The narrator never really expected to become attracted to Kimberle as she has never explored nor entertained the idea of being with women and assumed she was straight. But she enjoyed or didn’t dislike participating in an unexpected threesome between Kimberle and the Cuban woman she brought home. When Kimberle brought the pregnant women, the narrator wasn’t willing to participate and Kimberle’s suggestion of experimenting with a man didn’t interest her either as she would rather discuss their relationship to see where they stand. The narrator isn’t mortified by her growing affections for her same-sex friend, she is rather accepting about the fact that she finds Kimberle attractive and wants to become more but it rejected when she asks in the second quote.

4.) Let You Down – NF “Yeah, I guess I’m a disappointment
Doing everything I can
I don’t wanna make you disappointed
It’s annoying”

In the first quote Kimberle is rushed to the hospital by the author after she intentionally cuts herself with a kitchen knife, these lyrics goes with this quote because it shows how disappointed Kimberle is at herself for being suicidal. It’s hurting her inside and she doesn’t know how to overcome her dark thoughts that take over and causes her to harm herself. It’s more disappointing as she has to rely on the narrator to be her anchor and stop her from going too far and taking her life.

Pandora’s Box by Arturo Arias

Men can’t understand what women go through because they aren’t women and don’t experience the same unwanted attention that women go through or men don’t make an effort to understand women. So when Juan was turned into a woman was excited about the possibilities of what he could do as a woman that he didn’t expect the downsides of being a woman. Such as being harassed or ogled at by men wherever he went. This newspaper article relates to Pandora’s Box because of how common it is for women to be harassed on the street from a young age. As the female Juanita, Juan will continue to be harassed on the street by older men regardless of what she wears, and it happens to every woman which make them feel unsafe out in the street or restricts the hours women can be out alone as it becomes unsafer for them to be out in the night without company.

Photography

Both photos are similar because it shows the different struggles of people. In Dulce’s photo of The Real Story of Superheroes, she has everyday workers dressed in different superhero costumes while they continue to work their regular jobs. She emphasizes how these normal and common workers should be considered Superheroes as these people keep help, everyone, even when they aren’t paid much. The photo of a construction worker who helps build buildings that would give people homes to live in or areas to work/teach should be appreciated and admired more. The photo by Graciela Iturbide of Frida’s Bathroom that mimics what Frida Khalo painted when she was in the bathroom gives an insight as to what Khalo had to deal with while at home after her accident. She painted parts of her daily life that most would find disturbing and embarrassing to show to the public but she did anyway. Both photos taken can be admired by people who see them because they show what people experience and don’t think about when seeing a building or what was Frida’s suffering at home.

Movie Clip

all the Mexican women refuse to cook or clean or raise the kids or pay bills or make the bed or drive your bum ass to work or do anything except watch their novelas, so heaven is gross. the rats are fat as roosters & the men die of starvation. -Jose Olivarez

I included this poem Mexican Heaven by José Olivarez with this movie clip from Little Women because it relates to how women always seem to be expected to provide more for the comfort of men in the relationship. In José Olivarez’s poem “Mexican Heaven” the women in heaven abandoned their responsibilities to enjoy their novels which caused heaven to be gross since men don’t know how to take over what the women do daily. It relates to the movie quote from Little Women “Women have minds and souls as well as just hearts, and they’ve got ambition and talent as well as just beauty. And I’m sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for.” because of how much women are taken for granted simply because they are female and the expectations for women to succeed in things other than the household are low. Yet it all women were to simply abandon their responsibilities, men would be at a loss because of how much they rely on women unconsciously.

Alternate Ending

I left Don Juan with a new agenda. Fuck my boss, fuck my job, fuck my Porcupine Love. There will be other jobs I can work but there will only be one Antenna in my life and she’s waiting for me 2 continents, 3 oceans, 8,643 miles, and 31 airplane hours away in New Zealand. I want to fuck her, taste her, and be with her, Antenna is my only regret and I’ll be damned if I let the chance to be with her again slip by.

I go home and pack my stuff, while buying the first ticket I see going to New Zealand, I email Antenna that I’ll be at the airport in four hours and in 31 airplane hours into her arms.

I’m here waiting in line to board the plane, excited to see her again, touch her again, hear her voice, be with her, to be with someone who gives a damn about me. I sit down with an annoying kid seated behind me screaming but all I can think about is Antenna, my excitement turns into anxiety. What if I fuck it up again, what if she gets annoyed with my love, will I be able to tell her that I love her but my love will hurt her, that I’m scared. The door to the plane closes, a safety video plays on the screen, the plane starts moving, it takes off and I look out the window to see the city where I leave my life behind to start a new one with Antenna and feel no regrets.

I’m in New Zealand, exiting the security checkpoint and into the area where people are going into taxis or reuniting with families. I look for the woman I let getaway, I don’t see her, where is she? I feel someone come up from behind and hug me, I turn and see Antenna, she’s so much more beautiful than the last time I saw her. She’s smiling and I can’t help but smile and kiss her too. Maybe this time will be better, I need to tell her about my spikes, I can’t let her get hurt again, I won’t let myself do it. She deserves better so I’ll give her better, I’ll show her how much she means to me, even if I’m scared shitless.

Group blog #1

Writing portion

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Group blog #2

What have you learned in this course?

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A Xicana Codex

Moraga is on of the foremothers of the Chicana feminist movement. I relate to Cherrie Moraga’s Xicana Codex in the sense where she is a Mexican-American woman just trying to find her place within society. Being a minority, yet being so connected to your roots is relatable to myself. The codex was a great collection of Moraga’s writings, including important points in her life.

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Kimberle

The playlist composed by me for Kimberle comes together in the sense of sexuality, gender and Cuban pride. Obejas is a Cuban poet who consistently mentions Cuba in her Kimberle story, obviously taking great pride in Cuba making his fictional characters Cuban as well.

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Sexile

https://www.hrw.org/news/2016/11/26/cuba-fidel-castros-record-repression#

Fidel’s regime was a repressive one. Many Cubans fled, only having a growing resentment towards him. The Cuban people paid a terrible price for the dictatorship that he ousted.

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Natasha Carrizosa and Natalie Caro

Caro writes a poem titled “Dear White People” and Carrizosa writes “Mejiafricana.” Both are representations of imagery, which consists of descriptive language functioning as ways for readers to examine literature and add symbolism. “Dear White People” is solely about the “white way” being the “right away.” We visualize the white Christ, which is mentioned and white superiority. In a way, Mejiafricana slightly relates in the way where Carrizosa slams white superiority and there is pride in both sides of their roots. Half mexicana and half africana, she is prideful in both, taking into consideration both sides of who she is, no more no less.

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La fiesta de los Linares

I would include this in my blog post because it is very appropriate to the course and its meaning. It is part of Ambientes, a collection of stories by a wide variety of writers It pays tribute to the growing LGBTQ+ Latino population in the U.S., a minority within a minority which is exactly what this class has been about.

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Jennifer Maritza Mccauley

So many words stood out to me in the Blackout story. To begin, isla del encanto is italicized. Puerto Rico is known as la isla del encanto which translates to island of enchantment. Columbus named the island San Juan Bautista and he is also mentioned in this poem, particularly in the Spanish version “Cristobal.” A jibaro, which is also italicized is a self-subsistence farmer in Puerto Rico, they are a great reflection to the culture. The phrase most important in the whole poem is “No existe un corazon americano. Tienes sangre esclava, taina, blanca.” The Puerto Rican is a blend of Taino, Spanish and African. The entire poem is in relation to Puerto Rican pride and what makes the island so charming.

Artwork of Execution Of The Inca by Pizzaro

I chose this art piece as me and my groups did vide-blog #1. I am reminded of the team work we had. We were learning and discussing about how the colonizers came to the new world and took advantage of the native people for their own benefit. I relate to this art as in my country Vietnam, the country has experienced colonization from France and learning the similar topic was very interesting.

La Guera by Cherrie Moraga: Personal Connection

Spotify Playlist: Based on Kimberle”, by Achy Obejas.

1. Before Our Spring- IU
2. You’re Somebody Else- Flora Cash
3. Remember that night- Sara Kays
4. Out Of Love- Alessia Cara
5. Lose You Love Me- Selena Gomez

I know this sounds foolish

The Spotify playlist I created consists of five songs that is connected with the topic of being confused to love another due to complicated relationship. And also the feeling of not knowing if the person you love is the same. Kimberle and the narrator have this complicated relationship which I think in the song is also reflected. The first song I chose was Before Our Spring by IU. The song includes the lyrics:

“But I’m afraid to go to you
Even if you don’t understand
It’s alright, it’s alright“

The lyrics and the song talks about how it feels to be not understood and frustrated to see someone you love not understand the other individual.

The second song I chose is You’re Somebody Else- Flora Cash. In the story, the narrator  is confronted with the possibility that Kimberle is the serial killer. I think the song relates to the part of loving someone who is unknown in the character. The song lyrics says:

“Well you look like yourself
But you’re somebody else
Only it ain’t on the surface
Well you talk like yourself
No, I hear someone else though
Now you’re making me nervous“

Pandora’s Box, by Arturo Arias

News Article: https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/transgender-nepali-has-her-big-moment-indian-catwalk-n716351

I chose this article because it talks about the struggle of transgender and the problems she faced coming from a small village of Nepal. In Pandora’s Box, by Arturo Arias, his story also shows the challenges Juan faces during and before his new life. In the news article, Anjali Lama, a transgender model from Nepal states how the years she lived in the village in Nepal were hard. She says that people in school made fun of her and struggled with confusion and depression.

Dulce Pinzón and Graciela Iturbide (images)

Analyzation:

“Mexican Heaven” José Olivaraz

“they dream
of another heaven, one they might be allowed in
if only they work hard enough.”

Jose Olivaraz

I chose to include this part of the poem in my blog as it connects to the photograph by Dulce Pinzón, The real story of superheroes. The jobs and roles which are plays in the society by immigrant workers are above and beyond than white people. The credit and risk people take to built a nation to just be merely looked as if they are not part of society is saddening. But, as the photograph states, they are the real superheroes.

Porcupine Love by Tatiana de la Tierra (Colombia)

Alternative ending:

After getting home, thousands of thoughts were running across my mind. The thought of seeing Antenna, the thought of getting to see her and travel until our bodies will be tired. But, my other half of my thoughts were more concerned of my life here, the job I get so much from and place where I can go find anyone, does not have to be Antenna. I had to put those thoughts somewhere so I could see them and realize what is right and wrong. I took out diary and started writing, on one page I stated writing about things I love about my life right now and on one page, things I love my life with Antenna in it. Starting on my first topic, there were a few things which I loved but when I started writing about Antenna, my pen did not stop. It was if I had transformed into this writer with obsession. I did realize it was a obsession but for love and only love for Antenna.

With all those thoughts and reflection, I had ordered a e-ticket to go to Australia. The flight was in the morning and I stayed up the whole night thinking about what we will be doing in Australia right after I land. I was as excited as a child would be if they were going to a wonderland. And once it was 7 am, I packed all my bags and before leaving I dropped a resignation letter to my job and, left for the airport.